Its been a while….

Wow, completely forgot about this thing.

I guess its better late then never huh?
A few things have changed since the last time I posted anything.
David is now 19 months old, and we are currently working on potty training! So far it has been about fifteen pounds of failure with a tiny bit of victory sprinkled on top…
After three days of constantly cleaning urine off the floor, and scrapping human turd out of little boys underwear {something, I’m pretty sure, I could have never imagined I would be so comfortable doing at any point in my life} we finally had a break through yesterday. David successfully pee-peed on the toilet THREE TIMES!! He then proceeded to piss on the floor four more times before we went to bed…. but little wins right?
I recently changed my status at work to something called full flex, which essentially means I make my own schedule, am guaranteed forty hours, and maintain full-time status. So now I get to be home on the weekends more often! Yay! Summer is here again so I spend a lot of time in my yard, its amazing how no matter how many hours you put in, there is always still more to do. Got my garden up and running, even though all my seedlings died….
We have purchased season passes to Storyland and enjoyed the park once to date {Ill get the pictures up here soon enough}, and we are going camping in three weeks.

Hopefully I can be a little more consistant this time around, we’ll see right….

Fishy…

Song of the day! Sublime- Badfish

My wife doesnt like meat.
Not all meat, but enough of a variety of meat that I can just say ‘meat’.
She will eat chicken, turkey and ham.
She wont eat hamburger, sausage, veal, pork, deer, rabbit, moose, elk, bison or fish.
Until last night.
I have been hammering on her that fish is good for you.

“I dont like fish, it tastes fishy.” she proclaims.
(pause for my ‘did you seriously just say fish tastes like fish’ glare)
“Right, I hear you, but there are some types of fish that dont taste ‘fishy’ and you should really try it.”
(pause for her shaking her head in protest like a 4 year old I just told that she needs to finish her green beans before she leaves the table)

But! I digress. Meghan has recently undergone a strenuous workout and diet regimen that is top notch to say the least. So my years of begging her to try something new finally bore fruit, in the form of my ability to simply bring perspective to the discussion.

“Hey, I think we should try some fish this week for dinner.”
“I dont like fish, it tastes fishy.” she proclaims.
(pause for my ‘did you seriously just say fish tastes like fish’ glare)
“Right, I hear you, but there are some types of fish that dont taste ‘fishy’ and the health benefits of fresh fish are unbelievable.”
(pause for her shaking her head in protest like a — wait…)
“Like what?” she asks.
“Well, eating fish can provide an excellent source of Omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins and minerals that benefit your general health. Fish is low-fat and is a good quality protein, filled with vitamins like riboflavin (Vitamin B2), which aids the body in the metabolism of amino acids, fatty acids, and carbohydrates and Vitamin D, which aids calcium absorption to help prevent osteoporosis. Fish is also rich in calcium and phosphorus and a great source of minerals, such as iron, zinc, potassium (a mineral needed for muscles, nerves, and fluid balance in the body), iodine, and magnesium.” I reply…… (not really)
“Huh…. will it help me lose weight?”
“…….Yeah”
“Okay!”

So we go out grocery shopping Monday night and I take her over to the deli counter at Market Basket to pick out our filets. I selected Haddock for her first fish experience based on her desire to stay away from fish that tastes like fish… (grunt).
Haddock is a firm, white meat fish and is well, delicious.
I absolutely soaked the fish in lemon, kosher salt, oregano and parsley. Laid it on a bed of fresh spinach and baked it in the oven.
Muy delicioso.

While we were enjoying our fish my lovely wife said to me-
“This is what fish tastes like?”

(grunt)

Yeah, thats a tent in my dinning room. What of it?

Mikhail Prokhorov = Lord Humongous?

Listen, I cant be the only person in the world who is a fan of basketball and the Mad Max series of movies. So there for I also cannot be the only one who thought of this the very second I heard the press confrence on ESPN.

For those of you who dont follow sports, Mikhail Prokhorov is the owner of the New Jersey Nets and the man leading the charge in an attempt to trade for the Denver Nuggets star Carmelo Anthony. This has been an annoying and drawn out process and Mikhail is sick and tired of the run around.

For those of you who don’t know what Mad Max is, well, I don’t really feel comfortable talking to you anymore. Ill just post a link. There you go.

This may be a little racist (if that would be the right term) but I submit to you for your viewing pleasure…

Proof that Mikhail Prokhorov is actually Lord Humongous disguised as a very successful businessmen man and sports enthusiast.

I hurt myself today…

SONG OF THE DAY!! Johnny Cash – Hurt

I had a tooth extracted yesterday. Let me tell you, not fun.
The staff and doctor at the place I went to were fantastic, but its kind of hard for it to make up for them ripping out a piece of my face.
I think about weird stuff from time to time. One of the things I have been thinking about today is that fact that universally, we as a people like to describe our pain or discomfort in the most dramatic way we can possibly imagine. Ill provide an example.

Me – “Hey I heard you took a pretty nasty digger in the driveway last night”
Clumsy person – “Oh my god right? I fell so freikin hahd I feel like I got hit by a train. I couldn’t get out of bed this morning”

Really?
I’m sure it really hurt…. but hit by a train? Couldn’t get out of bed this morning? Are you telling me you tried to get up this morning but had to wait till the afternoon before you were physically capable of removing yourself from your bed?
Im not saying Im not guilty of doing the same thing. Right now as I sit here the only thing I can approximate the pain in my face to, is getting hit in the face with a baseball bat. But I digress. In retrospect, the pain in my face actually feels a little bit closer to what really happened. I feel like someone stabbed me in the face 7 times with a needle, used a screwdriver to loosen my molar, then ripped it out of my face by rotating it in a figure 8 until it snapped out.

Molar extraction – 72.50
Ibuprofen 800 mg prescription – 8.50
Being orally violated by a 60 year old white guy named Hershel – priceless.

Cherry Coke Cupcakes = scrumtrulescent

I made these cupcakes for an ugly sweater party I had at my house. I regret not taking pictures of them, they were a sight to be seen. The cupcakes looked pretty good too.

Cherry Coke Cupcakes

adapted from Nigella Lawson’s ‘How to be a Domestic Goddess’
makes 12 cupcakes

Cupcakes

1 1/2 Cups flour
3/4 Cup sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 large egg
1/2 Cup buttermilk
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3 Tbs cocoa powder
3/4 Cup Coca-Cola
1/4 cup marachino cherry syrup
24 marachino cherries

Cola Icing

1 cup Icing sugar
2 tbsp cola

Preheat the oven to 350 F.In a bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Beat the egg, buttermilk, and vanilla in a second bowl. In a saucepan, boil the Coca-Cola, and cherry syrup gently for five minutes. Melt in the butter and cocoa powder. Pour into the dry ingredients, stir well with a wooden spoon, and then add the liquid ingredients, beating until everything is blended.
Pour into the cupcake pans and push a cherry into the center of each cupcake. Bake for 15 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
When cool drizzle over the Cola Icing and let dry. Top with cherry buttercream and a cherry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I didnt make the recipe exactly to the way it says above.

I completely omitted the cola icing, on account of not being able to find Icing sugar anywhere. What the hell is icing sugar? Anyway, I also thought while making the batter that the cupcakes were going to be real dense. I happen to like a lighter cupcake, so I balanced it out with a simple swap of whipped heavy cream with marrachino cherry juice and red food coloring (just enough to turn it pink) instead of butter cream frosting. Made for a tasty cake that you could pretend wasnt bad for you. ‘Cause its just whipped cream right?

And if you have no idea what scrumtrulescent is……

Friday Night Artist Spotlight: Clay Cook

Friday Night Artist Spotlight: Clay Cook

I have been a fan of this musician, before I even knew who he was. My wife and I went with some friends to the Zac Brown Band concert at Meadowbrook US Cellular Pavilion in Gilford, New Hampshire. This guy stood out for me right away. His musical ability is trumped only by his, albeit untraditional, incredible voice. This guy sings his face off. They did a cover of Blackbird by The Beatles that was unbelievable. I have always had a soft spot for Blues and Funk, and they took an awesome song like Blackbird and dropkicked it into the wall with blues and rubbed funk in its open wounds.
Love it.

Clay Cook is a songwriter, producer and musician who co-wrote several songs with Grammy-winner John Mayer including No Such Thing, Comfortable, and Neon. Cook and Mayer’s songwriting partnership was predominantly through Mayer’s early career, as the songs he wrote with Mayer (with the exception of live releases) only appear on Mayer’s first two releases, Inside Wants Out and Room for Squares. Cook and Mayer formed the band Lo-Fi Masters prior to Mayer recording Inside Wants Out. Cook is currently in the Zac Brown Band and was formerly in the Marshall Tucker Band.

Clay Cook attended Smoke Rise Elementary, Tucker High School, and is a graduate of South Gwinnett High School in Snellville, Georgia in 1996. Following this, Cook enrolled atBerklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts to further his skills in music. While there, Cook met fellow student and singer-songwriter John Mayer. The two of them formed the duo known as LoFi Masters.

After his time at Berklee, Cook made the decision with his bandmate, John Mayer, to move their duo to Atlanta, Georgia, as he was a Georgia native and was aware of the music industry in the city. They began their career in earnest there, quickly making a name for the two-man band. They frequented the local coffeehouse and club circuit in venues including Atlanta’s famous venue Eddie’s Attic. On their writing partnership, Cook said, “Even back then, my role was more like that of a producer and John was the writer. I’d give input to clean up the rough edges and help him get his vision of the song more clear. For instance, he might have written six verses to a song, and I’d help him get it down to three.”^[1] Due to musical and creative differences, the two eventually parted ways. Cook also played with Sugarland, Shawn Mullins, the Marshall Tucker Band and the Zac Brown Band, of which he is a member.

Clay was with the Marshall Tucker Band from 2000-2008, so while he did not have any thing to do with songs like ‘Cant you see’ or ‘Fire on the mountain’ If you had the pleasure of seeing this guys live, you would have seen Clay playing the bass guitar and pedal steel guitar. If you like his version of Blackbird you should definetely check out his solo albums. I cant put any up here, on account of costing money. Which I have none of.

Marshall Tucker Band – Cant You See

Zac Brown Band – Blackbird

John Mayer – Neon

Dreaming my dreams….

SONG OF THE DAY !! Allison Krauss – Dreaming My Dreams With You

I have always been intrigued by “Dream science”. Though my cynicism tries fervently to shove me in the direction of ‘this is bullshit’ I resist just long enough to catch a glimpse, like a pedestrian being moved along by a cop at the scene of a murder.

I have a few recurring dreams that have followed me from my childhood, and into my adulthood. All are pretty messed up, and they can’t mean nothing can they?

THE “MOM’S DRIVING UP AN IMPOSSIBLE ROAD” DREAM

This is probably one of the very first dreams that I can remember having more than once. It was pretty traumatizing as a child, which probably explains why I remember it so vividly.

The Dream goes like this: My mom and I are driving in a station wagon, just the two of us. We are chugging along down a road that looks like some midwestern farm town with empty fields on either side, and it’s always dusk. She stops the wagon, and asks me to get out and look at something (not always the same thing every-time) so I do. When I get out she starts to drive away, not maliciously like she did it on purpose, but like she had the memory of a goldfish and forgot I was with her and drove away. Then, like a scene out of a science fiction movie, The road lifts up out of the ground like a drawbridge and shoots straight up into the sky. After looking up at the road and thinking ‘what the fuck’ I look down and the station wagon just started driving up the vertical road! When I finally get up to the road I see that there is no curve in it, it shoots straight up at a 90 degree angle. So I’m jumping and clawing at the road trying to climb it, but I can’t hold on to pull myself up. I do that for a few minutes, then wake up.

My mother used to drive a station wagon. She didn’t always drive one, though every time I had this dream, It was always an old wagon. Maybe I love station wagons.

THE “MOM’S A TRASH BAG” DREAM

So this one is decidedly trippier. I have four younger brothers, and the distance in years between me and the youngest boy is 8 years. My mother is veritable baby making machine.

I’m in a diner with my mum and my dad. We just finished eating, breakfast presumably, and me and pops are getting ready to head out the door. I turn back and notice that my mother is still stuffing her face with a huge pill of food in front of her. I go back to her and beg her to stop eating cause she’s getting really fat. I start to notice that she is visibly getting larger at a pretty rapid rate. I beg her again to stop but she ignores me. This time when I look down to examine her girth, her torso has turned into a gigantic black hefty bag. I look back up at her and she is just this bloated food covered head sticking out of the bag. Then the bag rips open and babies start pouring out of the tear. I feel it is important to note that all the babies had diapers on. So the entire floor of the diner is covered in crying babies, and I wake up.

THE “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE” DREAM

This one is pretty straight forward I think. Though my tendency towards ‘this has to mean something’ is directed more towards the fact that I have been having this dream for as long as I can remember. So when I was 9 years old, I was responsible for the fate of my entire family. Pretty heavy, I know.

The dream never starts innocently. I’m instantly hurled into a world that is populated by zombies. Apparently in this world also, all my relatives are morons and incapable of thinking for themselves. The actual people I am responsible for saving varies from dream to dream, but the consistent theme across the board, our only hope for salvation…. ATV’s. I have never owned or even operated an All Terrain Vehicle in all my life, I must have a deep-rooted longing to do so though. Also, the only logical place for us to meet up…. the Poor Peoples Pub.

THE “YOUR A SISSY” DREAM

This one for me is the main cause for waking up either really sad or really pissed off, and probably the most recurring of them all.

It always starts with my wife disappearing, or being kidnapped, or abducted ‘ski masks and black windowless van’ style. The rest of the dream is me tracking her down in dramatic fashion. The first couple dozen times I had this dream it was her disappearing. I come home, and she isn’t where she should have been. I start to ask around and no one knows where I can find her. I search high and low for her for several days, each day a startling revelation that makes it appear that she is in mortal danger. Then I finally find her, innocently enough, just hanging out with friends. “Oh my god Meghan where have you been? I’ve been searching everywhere are you okay?” “Of course I’m okay, don’t be such a fucking sissy!” Then she laughs at me…. Yeah.

It eventually turned into a situation where she was taken against her will by ‘bad-guys’ to which I react even more heroically to track her down. It always ends up with me finding her in some abandoned apartment building, or some old warehouse where she is bound and gagged in a chair surrounded by the ‘bad-guys’ and they allow me to speak to her one last time before they kill us both. “Oh my god Meghan I never stopped searching for you, I’m gonna get us out of this I swear” “Whatever, I don’t remember asking you to come save me. Don’t be such a fucking sissy!” Then she laughs at me…. Yeah. A couple of times it was even revealed at the end that Meghan was in on the kidnapping the whole time, and the motive to the whole event was just to fuck with me. What a bitch….

Anyway, I have no idea what any of this means, but its pretty fucked up I think. If I ever turn into a serial killer I guess they can use this for a case study.

Give me a break….

SONG OF THE DAY!! Jason Mraz – Winter Wonderland
http://mp3bear.com/inc/audio.php?id=1107797
It may be apparent, maybe not. I have been real busy lately and have been unable to hold up my end of the bargain. I will make it formal so as to avoid confusion.
I am breaking from this…. thing until after the holidays. See you then.

Friday Night Artist Spotlight: Eric Clapton

Welcome to my new weekly post offering…. I plan on doing an artist spotlight once a week on (you guessed it) Friday. Now, artist doesnt necessarily mean Im only gonna do musicians. Art is kind of a broad topic, so I want to cover all corners. Some weeks I may do a musician, other weeks I may cover an actor, or director, or painter, or poet, or rapper :). This week, Eric Clapton.

Friday Night Artist Spotlight: Eric Clapton

Layla, You got me on my knees Layla.
Eric Clapton has always been a favorite artist of mine. He wasnt one of the first, but once I was introduced to him I couldnt get enough. Eric Clapton is the only artist ever to be inducted into the Rock ‘n’ Roll hall of fame 3 times!! In a hall of fame that does not include talent the likes of; Carole King, Neil Diamond, Genesis, The Commodores, Joe Cocker, The Cars, Heart, The Moody Blues, and Jimmy ‘muther fuckin’ Buffett, Eric Clapton has been inducted 3 times!! Once as a solo artist, once with The Yardbirds, and once with Cream.

Eric was born and raised in Ripley, Surrey, England.  His mother was 16 years old when he was born and was unfit to care for the young boy. Clapton grew up believing that his grandparents were his biological parents, and his mother was his older sister.

His early years as a guitar player were not met without adversity according to wikipedia:

‘Clapton received an acoustic Hoyer guitar, made in Germany, for his 13th birthday, but found learning the steel-stringed instrument very difficult and nearly gave up. Despite his frustrations, he was influenced by the blues from an early age and practiced long hours to learn chords and copy the music of blues artists that he listened to on his Grundig Cub tape recorder.’

Eric earned the nick name ‘Slowhand’ from his manager during his time with The Yardbirds, Giorgio Gomelsky.

‘It was during this time period that Clapton’s Yardbirds rhythm guitarist Chris Dreja recalled that whenever Clapton broke a guitar string during a concert, he would stay on stage and replace it. The English audiences would wait out the delay by doing what is called a “slow handclap”. Clapton told his official biographer, Ray Coleman, that, “My nickname of ‘Slowhand’ came from Giorgio Gomelsky. He coined it as a good pun. He kept saying I was a fast player, so he put together the slow handclap phrase into Slowhand as a play on words”‘

Some of my favorite Clapton songs…
Layla

Cocaine

Tears In Heaven

And my absolute favorite of all time…. Lay Down Sally

To call him a journeyman would certainly be an apt title for the well traveled musician. He has been in many bands, and done dozens of ‘guest shots’ in other long standing bands. The following bands are the ones he was in and released an album with as an official member.

The Yardbirds (1963-1965)

John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers (1965-1966)

Powerhouse (1966)

Cream (1966-1968, reunion 2005)

Blind Faith (1968-1969)

The Plastic Ono Band (1968-1969)

Delaney & Bonnie & Friends (1969-1970)

The Sean Head Showband (1970)

Derek and the Dominos (1970-1971)

followed by his storied solo career from 1971 to present. During which, including live albums and compilations, released 44 albums.

The list of bands and artists that he was otherwise involved in is just as impressive. Including the following:
Free Creek, Dire Straits, Led Zeppelin, George Harrison, The Dirty Mac, Blind Faith, Freddie King, Phil Collins, J.J. Cale, T.D.F., Tina Turner, Jeff Beck, Paul McCartney, Steve Winwood, B.B. King, The Beatles, Buddy Guy, The Allman Brothers, The Band, Lenny Kravitz, George Harrison, Roger Taylor, Daryl Hall, The Derek Trucks Band, Chaka Khan, Mick Jones, David Sanborn, Robert Cray, Dr. John, Leon Russell, Billy Preston, Ringo Starr, Tom Petty, Roger McGuinn, Bob Dylan, Roger Waters, Jimmy Hendrix, Sheryl Crow, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Will Jennings… to name a few.

He is largely regarded as the greatest guitarist to come out of England in the history of recorded music. Hit your local F.Y.E. and buy some of his albums, and you will see why.

Its da plane! Da plane….

SONG OF THE DAY!! Louis Prima – Pennies from Heaven

I love tattoos. I have always wanted to become a tattoo artist, but my confidence in my art skills has always been lacking, which is something you don’t want in someone who is marking you for life. No matter what I do, I always think something could be better, and they don’t put erasers on tattoo guns.

I have 4 tattoos to date, and I plan for more down the road. All of mine are concealed real well, so If I decide I wanna be the CEO of Johnson and Johnson someday, I have that option. Here they are….

2nd tattoo - For you RPG fans out there, yes, thats the logo from Planescape Torment

1st Tattoo - Got it 3 months after my 18th B-day, designed it myself.

3rd tattoo - Got this one in after my brother died. Sorry its backwards. And Im hairy

4th Tattoo - That is my sons hand print at 1 1/2 weeks old.